“Don’t be so sensitive”

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I’d be sitting on a big pile of money.

And it drives me crazy.

But early on I didn’t know what it really meant.

I thought it was all me, that I was ‘doing it again’. I was overreacting, or taking things too personally. Because those comments would follow and I believed them.

I would run myself through a grueling beat-up session..”what’s wrong with me”, “why do I let things bother me”, “I was just feeling fine a minute ago, now I feel like crap”.

And then I would own it. I would take claim of the fact that my feelings were invalid. I was convinced I was messed up and needed fixing.

On the lighter side I cry at everything, even really good things. Show me the Pantene tv commercial with NFL Dads doing their daughter’s hair  and it’s guaranteed as the smile hits my face the tears will well up in my eyes.

Because there’s meaning, I feel things while I’m watching. Not just ‘oh look, that is so cute’ like most people, I feel like I’m literally IN the commercial, feeling the love that Dad has for his daughter, the gentleness is like a switch that opens my tear ducts.

rio-1512644_1280It’s a nightly thing this past week with the Olympics. I’m glued to the tv because it’s like being there.

The amount of energy I feel while watching is almost overwhelming but I can’t resist. It’s an emotional rush as if I’m swimming the race myself.

When they show the Moms of the athletes, I can’t stop the streams of tears, feeling their pride and joy. I’m actually getting tears in my eyes as I type about it.

Add the stories of the athletes and their dreams, hard work and obstacles overcome to get where they are, I’m weepy. When I saw the video of Ryan Murphy making his childhood dream come true from the age of 8…I was a total pile of mush on the couch.

As my Fiance Erik likes to say…”here come the water works”. It’s almost on cue when we’re watching, he just knows right when to look at me to see if the tears are streaming.

And he’s usually on point. He’ll reach his hand over and touch mine with a smile because it’s just something he’s come to appreciate about me.

The reason my Fiance is so supportive is not only because he’s a great guy, but because I own my sensitivity in a very different way than I used to-not oh gee, I’m a mess, I’m just “too sensitive”. No, try…”I’m a sensitive soul and proud of it”.

I know what it really means now. I’ve done the research. I’ve looked for answers and I found them. I finally understand why I am this way. I’m not broken.

My sensitivity is my superpower. And it’s the same for you.

I know there are other sensitive souls walking this earth feeling like I used to, flawed.

Are you kidding me? If you feel that way, you are far from flawed. You are what could change everything in this world. If more people were like us, I don’t believe we would have so much conflict and negativity in the world. Sensitives would never stand for it.

Why is it so accepted that not feeling is the way to be? Why are we taught that we should not be feeling so deeply? We are looked down upon for being a deep feeling person. I find it completely backwards and rude.

Sensitive Souls are greatly misunderstood and hugely undervalued.

And feeling that way in society, our culture, in your own family or office is what causes so many sensitives to seem out of sorts, angry, anxious and depressed.

It makes you want to back down, shove the feelings away or stop feeling all together.

What if instead, you owned that you are gifted?

That’s right, gifted.

Only 15-20% of the population has the ability to feel and sense the way you do.

So does it surprise you that most people around you have no idea what it feels like to be you? 80-85% of the people in your life have no clue about being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Your brain as a highly sensitive person (HSP) actually works a little differently than others. In the scientific world, the trait is called “sensory-processing sensitivity” (SPS). Research has found HSP have an especially strong empathetic response to emotional cues from others and process information more thoroughly.

Biologists have also found the unique trait you have in over 100 species from birds, dogs, cats, horses, and primates and more. This trait is a survival strategy of ‘being observant before acting’.

Ok, so let’s review.

  • You can read emotional cues from other people without them having to tell you anything
  • You process information more thoroughly by observing before acting

Pretty clear how you can use those specialized, innate skills in business or personal settings. And the more you develop them, the stronger your superpower becomes, the more you shine.

And it will be my pleasure to continue to remind you what a gift you are. To tell you over and over that your ability to feel things the way you do is beautiful. It’s not a flaw, it’s what makes you special.

Not sure how to navigate your feelings?

I can help. I’ve learned things that can change how you experience life. And you don’t have to stop feeling to do it. You get to be yourself, 100%, a Sensitive Soul.

What would it feel like to have an owner’s manual for your emotions that gave you a totally different, feel good way of reading your emotions? Created more honor and respect in your life? Helped you get more of what you want? 

Because I’ve been there, living without the manual, guessing my way through. It was hard, complicated and messy. Then I learned what all my emotions really were trying to tell me, what emotions are for and what emotions were not mine, just other people’s stuff I was taking on.

Let’s connect for a Sensitivity Scan. I’ll help you uncross the wires so the signals are clear. You get to feel lighter and free. Sounds like a good plan yes?

What’s your dream life?

This is what a DREAM life would look like to me…

fashion-1284304_1280A positivity party where sensitive peeps who want to rock life on their own terms, have more fun just by being themselves!

Let’s face it, life gets craaazy sometimes and not always in a good way.

Emotions can run high, then low, up, down, up, down. You can feel all over the map about everything and nothing at all leaving you confused and feeling off.

It’s easy to get squashed in the shuffle, give-up on what you want and feel fuzzy about who you were meant to be. Total buzz kill.

I hear things like this from people every day…and I’ve been there, so I totally get it.

“I feel stuck.”
“I have a big dream but I have no idea how to make it happen.”
“I’m trying to get my life back on track.”
“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
“I just want to feel like myself again.”

It’s no joke. Because they mean it and they don’t know where to turn for help.

Call me silly, but I totally just love helping people live the happiest, most carefree, funnest life they can – by being true to themselves.

Let’s forget about humongo dreams for a second and focus on getting through the day with a real smile on your face, one like you really mean it.

Because maybe your dream isn’t to build a fortune 500 company, or be the next 10 time best-selling author or direct sales tycoon. (yet!)

Maybe you just want to get back to a positive feeling place to play and be silly.
Maybe you just want to feel free to be who you really are and find people that totally “get you”.
Maybe you just want to explore your creative side and actually have the time to do it. 
Maybe you just want to figure out how you were meant help more people like you.
Or maybe just you crave doing whatever the heck you feel like every day without everyone asking you ‘what’s wrong’.

That’s what I’m about: the real, the positive, the lighter side of what it takes to build the dream of you – living your happiest life. (isn’t that the ‘ultimate’ dream after all?)

I happen to specialize in personal intuition and positivity (kind of a cool combo!) If there were ever two tools you needed to navigate through life’s twists and turns, it’s intuition and positivity. I can help you…

Having “too much on your plate”, living “stressed out”, feeling “out of sorts” can make it almost impossible for you to see a decision in front of you with clarity. (And, hello, that’s no fun!)

Those are times when “extra” insight from a gifted intuitive can shine light to help you along your way. That’s what I live for!

If you…Feel fuzzy about the right next steps or crave a fresh perspective about a relationship or situation, I’m here for you.

Ready to kick-off this party, A.K.A your-best-life?

Now is the time to live lighter. Apply for your free Discovery Session and let’s get your-best-life started.

I can’t wait to celebrate your Big Dream Awakening with you!

Nicole xo

P.S. If you want to kick life up a notch in the mean time, grab my free report packed full of easy-breezy, free and fun things you can do right now to start living lighter!

Don’t Do What You Think You Should Do!

You heard me!

I said, don’t do what you think you should do. But wait, there’s more to that thought.

In today’s vLog we get down to the nitty-gritty on decision making and how to know what’s right for you.

There are so many options out there, how do you know what’s just right for you?

  • 1 in 5 Americans take some type of supplement, but they are getting duped and spend billions on vitamins that don’t even work-thinking cheap and easy is best (like at the grocery store) vs. investing in quality products
  • There are 30,500 fitness centers in the US and increasing every year – and with that, what exercise is best for you? Yoga, pilates, weight training, running, Crossfit?? So many options!
  • Medical information can be found on the net – WebMD, Dr. Oz, Dr. Mercola – where do you go for your research, who do you trust?
  • There are approximately 2,880,000 results for relationship coaches on the web – wow, how do you narrow down your search?
  • And where do we begin with financial advisors and wealth management options? No one has money to throw around to take the risk!
  • The global wellness market is now three times larger, a trillion dollar industry! Holy moly, that seems like a daunting list of inventory to choose from! Do you go with crystals, essential oils, bio-mat, diffusers, salt rock lamps….the list is endless! And everyone has a pitch why their product is best!
  • Not feeling your best? Should you go to a chiropractor, acupuncturist, energy healer, massage therapist? Or maybe you need Reiki, electromagnetic therapy or a nutritionist. Where do you begin?

I could go on but I think you get my point, hopefully I haven’t overwhelmed you.

There’s no doubt this is the coolest time to be alive in history. There are more products and services out there than ever before.

But how do you choose what product or service is best, what coach or advisor can help you achieve your goals…without getting overwhelmed by all the options???

Here’s what I can tell you…

Don’t do what you think you should do, do what feels right for you.

If it feels light, it’s most likely right for you.

There are definitely a lot of great products and services on the market, which means you have a lot of decisions to make and information to pour through.

The key is finding what feels just right for you, what you’re drawn to, what gets you excited.

Of course there’s an element of caution as there are products on the market that are not good for you, people who are providing services that are not as effective. You’ll still want to do your research and then decide.

Before choosing any product for myself for example, I do the research, ask around, read reviews, but I also go with my gut.

And let me tell you I have tried a ton of products! I’m always open to new services, connecting with other holistic experts. I’m a guinea pig of sorts!

People also share things with me and I do get asked for advice on wellness tips all the time, so I really have to stay up to speed on what’s safe and effective.

The great thing is, I have developed a large wellness tool box for myself and my family, but also for my clients. You can explore what I use and recommend here if you’re on the hunt for healthy additions to enhance your energy and wellbeing.

What if you pick the wrong thing or it’s not what you hoped it would be?

Big deal. At least you tried it and now you know it’s not for you. The best way to learn whether it’s right or not is to try it.

Sometimes we hold ourselves back for fear it won’t work or we’ll make the wrong choice. But that’s only going to guarantee you find no improvement at all.

Move forward and give it a shot. If you’re following your gut and all the research points to yes, chances are you’re on the right track.

I’ve started with coaches in the past I thought were a great fit and soon realized it wasn’t. Disappointing? Yes but I have learned to move along, find a new one and it’s not the end of the world!

The only way to find the things that increase your energy and make you feel more alive is to…try them.

Your wellness plan is very personal and what works for you and lights you up will be unique and different from anyone else’s plan. And if you feel like you don’t have a plan, now is the best time to get started.

If putting your plan together feels confusing, I invite you to apply for a Personal Intuition Reading. I’ll help you fine tune your intuition and determine if there are any blocks or distractions interfering with your signals so you can make decisions with ease. 

No matter what, don’t…

One thing I’ve found in my research and working with so many clients over the years, is that most people think change is hard. They actually resist change for a number of reasons.

One of them is that they think of change in terms of quitting or stopping something. And usually that feels hard to do, and they tend to feel bad about whatever they feel they should quit or stop.

If they want to lose weight they think they should stop eating fatty foods and sugar.
If they want to increase their abundance they think they need to stop spending.
If they want to make their big dream come true, they should stop doubting it can happen.
If they want to live a positive life, they need to quit complaining and thinking negative.

Now, I’m not saying any of this is untrue, but all of it has a negative energy that sets you up to feel like it’s hard, not easy to do, a real challenge. It also shuts your energy down and takes you out of the flow.

What I have also found is that when people look at adding positive things to their life, things they really enjoy, they can’t help but feel better. (that makes those things good for them)

And the best part is, they’re so motivated to do something they actually feel excited about, it happens almost effortlessly.

If you approach making change in your life with a focus on stop, quit or don’t – your mind negates the ‘don’t’ and your message gets muddled.

If I say to you “don’t think about a pink elephant”, in fact, no matter what you do, “don’t think of a pink elephant”….you see him already right? A big, pink elephant right there in the middle of your mind. And the more I tell you not to think of him, the more I say “don’t think of a pink elephant”, the more you see him!!

Let’s pretend for a moment that a pink elephant is the whatever you don’t want in your life. (nothing personal against pink elephants) and let’s say that what you really want is a green flamingo. (because that seems as impossible as our dreams sometimes feel)

And you want the green flamingo so much but all you could think about is getting rid of the pink elephant to get the green flamingo. (hang with me) And it seems the more you try to get rid of the pink elephant, the bigger he seems to get until he is taking up all the space in your mind. Yep, he grew so much that he consumed your mind. He’s getting harder not to think about.

You find yourself telling everyone about the pink elephant, complaining how big he was, how you can’t stop thinking of him and yet what you really wanted is a green flamingo, but then without realizing it, you go back to telling the story of the pink elephant who dominates your life keeping you from your dreamy, green flamingo!

Yes, I’m being silly here. But doesn’t it seem just as silly to focus on what we don’t want vs. what we do want? Yet that’s how most people approach making change in their life – and my friend, it just doesn’t work that way.

What it does do is make you feel powerless to the ‘pink elephant’. But you’re not. And, if what you really want is exciting and fun, why not focus there instead? Are you with me?

Instead of saying to yourself “don’t do _____________” (or “don’t think of a pink elephant”) start directing your thoughts to what you do want.

Start adding green flamingos everywhere you can in your day.

From the moment you wake up, focus on the green flamingo, talk about the green flamingo, put up pictures, write in your journal what it would be like to have your green flamingo, research where to find green flamingos, read books on them….just focus on the green flamingo! (are you seeing a green flamingo yet?)

Again a silly image maybe, but what you focus on expands? Focus on what you do want, then fill every corner of your life with it!

Here’s how that would look…

If you want to lose weight – add healthy snacks you enjoy and drinking more water.
If you want to increase your abundance, add ideas to earn more money.
If you want to make your big dream come true, add empowering beliefs.
If you want to live a positive life add positive people, activities and thoughts.

So, I goofed around and we had some fun with pink elephants and green flamingos, but here’s your real-deal positivity tip for today:

If you want to stay positive, focus on adding what you like and enjoy, that’s good for you.

You absolutely cannot go wrong if you approach your life this way.

If you keep at it consistently, pretty soon all the good will fill your life and squeeze out the not so good. (Yes, a green flamingo can squeeze out a pink elephant!!)

The best part is you get to enjoy yourself in the process. No suffering, no misery, no regret.

Positive change can be fun and easy!

So – what can you add to your day, that you like and enjoy, that is good for you?

Leave a comment below!

Match what you choose to your goals and dreams and you’re well on your way! (and I bet you get more than a green flamingo!)