Any tips for blocking negative energy?

A great question from a Facebook member!

Hear no, see no, speak no NEGATIVITY!She said: “Last week someone was very angry at me. I didn’t even have contact with them but heard about it. I felt like I could feel her anger attacking me. I felt worn down and chest was tight. Any tips for blocking negative energy?”

First I’d like to say to you – I’m sorry you had to go through that. I think we’ve all been there, someone just throws up on you emotionally and it’s not cool.

There is good news. There are things you can do to release the negative energy.

Unfortunately we cannot block all negative energy because we are not always “on guard”. Sometimes people sucker punch you with their negative ickiness.

But you can prep yourself with awesome self-care, mindset work, lots of H2O and deep breathing throughout your day to release tension, keep you strong and alert and pumped full of positivity – in fact, those are a must, must in your personal care plan.

However there will be times when something happens unexpectedly, when you’re feeling tired or when someone else has a freak out “just because”, etc. that will challenge your energy and shove you off balance. It’s important to be prepared but it’s just as important to have recovery tools.

If someone is being awful and unreasonable, it’s totally normal and ok to not like it!

The fact that your chest felt tight is a definite symptom of Heart chakra pain. It’s associated with having a “broken heart,” often from being let down in some way by someone. Feeling “her anger attacking me” is a pretty good indicator that you were feeling it in your heart chakra.

Emotions connected with the heart chakra include on the not so good side – hate, anger, bitterness, resentment, grief, self-centeredness, loneliness – and on the good side -forgiveness, compassion, generosity, gratitude, commitment, trust, loyalty and the ability to follow one’s heart – a mix of a lot of emotions!

Try this process:

Step 1 – no matter what: Acknowledge and realize what you are feeling. Create awareness about your feelings. This also helps you honor your own feelings.

Example “I’m suddenly feeling awful, I don’t like feeling this way.” (this puts you in control of your feelings not the other way around)

Step 2 – Assess where it’s coming from. “Why am I suddenly feeling this way?” (because your energy was fine prior to the event – it’s not always obvious where it’s coming from like in this situation) Once you determine “is this my stuff or theirs?” you can move forward.

Step 3: Get to work on your energy.

If it is your stuff, you can journal, go for a walk, use tapping/EFT, do something to break the thought pattern and move your energy. You can and need to work through your own feelings.

Ask yourself this question to get a new perspective that supports and serves you: “How is what I’m feeling, this situation perfect for me?”

If it’s really not your stuff, all of the above still applies, but it can be even easier to cut the tie to the negative energy when it’s not yours.

It’s really a matter of mindset – “this is not my mess to clean up”. And say it forceful if needed – NOT MINE and walk away.

Bonus Tip: Give yourself a visual of picking up a pile of garbage and dumping it, dropping it, walking away. (Visuals make energy feel tangible)

I’ve also had clients put their unwanted feelings that do not belong to them in a visual box and donate it to the Goodwill of the Universe. (the Universe will clean up the mess and redistribute positive emotions instead)

You can visualize cutting the energetic rope (her anger to you) and being free to walk away vs. staying tied to her.

This process takes practice.

I have learned how to flip my energy connection off in negative situations like a light switch. I honor what I feel but when I assess it’s not mine, I’m done with it.

There are times where negative energy lingers and I have to do a bit more work on it but it’s shorter periods of time that I have to work through it than it used to be. (I used to carry crap around with me for weeks and months!)

You can too. (and I’m here to help if you need it)

When someone is BLAMING they are really PROJECTING.

They are not owning any part of the issue or even being reasonable to resolve it. There is something within them they don’t like, don’t want to deal with, don’t want to own…so they throw it at you instead, sometimes verbally and sometimes energetically.

They just want you to be wrong. Regardless of what happened, that makes them part of the problem.

Things happen between people, misunderstandings, points taken wrong, etc. Anger doesn’t create peace. Simply approaching someone to discuss what happened and find resolution does.

“Learning to navigate your emotions is a process not an event.”

And I will add it’s a necessity.

Because the truth is, not everyone is giving a positive go at communication, feelings and relationships.

But with practice, you can be ready for them. Or at least dodge their sucker punch!

Busting Through Blocked

You know what you want but no matter what you do it seems like you come up short. It feels like you keep bumping into a wall that says STOP.

You feel blocked.

Is this resonating? You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt this way. I get it, I’ve been there too. It’s frustrating but hopefully after reading this you’ll feel better about where you are – and why you are where you are.

Before we even dive into the signs and symptoms I’m going to tell you something very important. And if you let this sink in, you will feel the pressure lift about whether you’re doing something wrong, if you’re blocked and so on.

Everything and I mean everything that is MEANT TO HAPPEN will happen. No doubt. The Universe doesn’t miss anything and it doesn’t get things wrong.

There is a higher plan for you and it includes everything that is meant to happen for you.

Now there are a couple of things that need to align for that to occur but just know that if something is meant to be for you, it will be and the Universe will figure what you need to get it done.

I know you might be thinking, “yeah but Nicole, I’m not seeing the things I want happen, only things I don’t want and it’s sooooo frustrating.”

And that’s part of where the confusion sets in.

You’re seeing that what you want is not happening and what you don’t want is happening and you think there is a problem. This leads you to question if you are blocked.

Try to understand that what is meant to happen is happening for you.

Ah. Did you get that shift? Did you feel it?

That means even you not getting what you want right now – is just right for you. (read that sentence again)

Everything happens in right timing. What I mean is “trust the Universe” and trust the timing.

We are very impatient people. We want what we want, when we want it – I flash to Veruca Salt as she demands for her golden goose “NOWWWWWW” in Willy Wonka.

When we don’t get what we want we pout. Yes I’m guilty too. And I’m really good at it.

And no, I don’t mean we break out into song and scream and stomp our feet like Miss Veruca.

But it may look like crying, feeling down, moping, having a heaviness in your step, not smiling, being cranky – looking and feeling like you’ve lost and there’s no coming back for you.

You create needless suffering for yourself when you do this and all because you’re not getting what you want – on your timeline. That pushes what you want away even more. There are universal laws that only deliver when there is a match of energy.

If you’re feeling down and doubty-pants you will not manifest whatever it is that you’re dreaming of. The energy is not a match.

Did Willy Wonka run up and give Veruca her golden goose while she was throwing a fit? Nooooo! In fact Mr. Wonka chose Charlie to have it all.

Charlie was a good kid, not demanding, not pouty. He was friendly, hopeful, happy and appreciative.

So in your quest to get what you want, who do you most feel you’ve been mirroring? Veruca or Charlie?

Ok, maybe Veruca is kind of a harsh comparison but she’s so memorable I love using her as an example. Charlie is such a great role model for manifesting. He was playful, curious and no matter what, he expressed gratitude for everything he received.

I think too many people get caught up in wondering if they’re blocked and this paralyzes them even more. They start to feel helpless, like something is wrong and they don’t know what it is. They get sad and angryish, resentful. Wrong vibe to get that joyful-whatever-it-is thing you want.

If you appreciate right where you are and how you’re feeling, you eliminate all of that. You dissolve those stuck, blocked feelings of “I must be doing something wrong or I would have what I want” and move toward the energetic space of getting it.

The Universe delivers dreams in layers of lessons learned.

Think about the last job you started. Did you know everything the moment you started? Did you learn everything after only being taught one time? Did you have moments of feeling stuck, having to ask questions, corrections to make from a mistake because you were new and just didn’t know what you didn’t know?

Did you give up? No, you kept working at it. One day at a time.

Until you started to get the hang of it, find your groove and advance your skills to the point where you could teach someone else your job if you had to.

That is life in a nutshell. But we set our expectations to instant. We want a drive-thru to order our dreams so we can have them right now.

Yes, I wish that were possible too. And it might feel like it is for some things.

You think “boy I could go for a carmel macchiato” and soon after someone surprises you with your fav from Starbucks. (hint if you’re ever in my area!)

But when it comes to the big stuff, the new car, the losing weight, the quitting your job to be your own boss, it seems like it takes forevvverrrrrr.

Keep working at it. One day at a time.

I’m going to tell you something you might not want to hear –

If you were ready to have what you want, you would already have it.

You would have learned all you need to know, be who you need to be and you would feel like it was effortless to get whatever it is you want. It would be the obvious next step for you, in fact there would be no doubt about it.

I can tell you if you don’t have what you want, you have doubt at some level and doubt creates resistance and resistance keeps your dreams at bay.

You doubt it’s possible, that you can have it, that you’re worth it, that you’re good enough, etc…there is some amount of doubt and getting to the source of that doubt will help you eliminate it.

Close your eyes and visualize having all you want right now, this very second. Every single detail, every piece and every part. All of it, just like that – instantly it is all yours.

Initially you think yay! Yes, bring it. But really think about that, all of it, right NOW.

Do you have every single detail mapped out? How would your life change? Are you who you need to be to have what you want?

Can you handle what you want right now? Are you ready? Do you know what you need? Do you know what you don’t know?

If you were really granted everything you want in this moment, would you be a bit overwhelmed? Are you as prepared as you need to be?

I have learned to accept that if I was ready, I would already have what I want, whatever it is.

Instead of wondering if you are blocked, focus on preparing so you can learn what you need to know. Thank the Universe for listening to your energy and not delivering every bit of what you want before you are ready.

It probably sounds strange to be grateful for not getting what you want. It’s not forever, it’s just until the shift happens and you are ready and you do get what you want. Then you get to be grateful for that too.

So if you’re not where you want to be, start asking yourself questions like- what else do I need to know? What am I already good at? How do I need to show up to get what I want? How prepared am I?

Your heart was born ready but your mind and wisdom are sometimes a few steps behind.

It’s comparable to having a baby. If a mother found out she’s pregnant and the next day she had a baby – whoa, can you say freak out! Thank goodness the process takes 9 months so the Mother can prepare her mind and emotions and get things in order for that big day when her precious bundle arrives.

So, this is your time to do the same until your big dream arrives. You’re in the incubation stage. That means you are right where you need to be – growing and learning.

Let’s dive into this thing called blocked and see what we can bust through.

First let’s talk about the term blocked. It gets used a lot, especially when someone finds they’re not getting what they really want, they assume they must be blocked and it builds into something bigger. Don’t do that to yourself.

Blocked simply means – not ready, there’s more you need to learn. There is something within you that equals – you have more growing to do.

My son just started a new job a few months ago and already they’re looking to him to lead his own team – someday. But he has things he needs to learn first. He’s new to the industry, has never worked in a sales position before and he still doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. They are teaching him – and he’s standing out because he naturally good with people and he’s eager to learn, he’s teachable.

He’s excited but he wants to be prepared. And rightfully so, why set him up to fail when he can grow into that position. How long that will take depends on how fast he learns, how well he performs and how positively he shows up every day. Guess what, he’s knocking it out of the park. (I’m beaming as I type this)

He sees that every day he is closer to what he wants, one day builds on the last. And even though not every day is perfect, he’s focused on the bigger picture. He celebrates every win, big or small.

And he believes that every hardship he’s been through has prepared him to win. It’s really been fun to watch, not just because he’s my son, but because he’s inspiring. He just keeps at it, hungry for more.

Signs you might be blocked (or as I like to say, have more to learn)

  • It feel like you keep experiencing the same issue or problem over and over again. If you watched the movie Groundhog Day, this feels like your life. It’s a new day but it’s the same old story, over and over. This could be with dating, money, jobs, friendships and so on.
  • You don’t have clarity about what you really want or it’s too vague. You might say I want to be my own boss and quit this job but you don’t know what you would do instead or you want to lose weight but you’re not sure what that really looks like and feels like, how many pounds, inches, etc.
  • You focus more on what you don’t want than what you do want. All you can think about is everything you don’t like or what is not going right taking your focus away from what you do want.
  • Everything feels bad. You have pain, feel heavy in your body, find yourself ill often or just don’t feel like yourself. All you can think about is how crummy you feel.
  • You think you’re missing something you need to get what you want. You tell yourself you don’t have enough time, money, energy, resources, etc. to make your dream happen.
  • You doubt yourself or feel you are not good enough to get what you want. You feel that the reason you don’t have it is because you must not deserve it or you haven’t earned getting what you want.
  • It seems like the Universe, God or whoever is in charge of dream delivery is against you. You question if they even know who you are or where you are, wondering if they just keep skipping over you and delivering to the next person because it sure feels that way.
  • You are full of pity and feel like a victim. It’s not your fault, everything and everyone in your life is just making it too hard for you to get what you want.
  • You feel like it’s just too hard, too complicated or too impossible for you and no one seems to understand.

All of these – and I could go on, are beliefs you’ve developed about why you don’t have what you want. All of them equal doubt – doubting yourself, the process, the Universe and so on.

Better beliefs equal better outcomes. I will quote my coach Jennifer Trask because she says it best – “You can’t outwork bad beliefs”. (read it again – it’s good stuff)

Do you need to know what your blocked about to get rid of it?

Yep. You bet. If I take my car into the shop because it’s not running right, they have to diagnose it in order to fix it. Same goes for you.

Now I don’t mean that you have to determine where you picked up the belief – example in third grade your teacher told you that you weren’t good enough, etc. You just have to identify the limiting belief and then correct it. (that’s where I can help)

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you discover what is holding you back from getting what you want:

  1. What the heck do you really want? (Be specific, full color, all the details you can spit out)
  2. What is stopping you from having what you want right now? (who, what, why, etc?)
  3. If you were granted your big dream, right now, all of it, how would your life change? Be specific. (think of your time and energy along with money, people, activities, etc.)
  4. What do you believe about getting what you want? (do any of the examples I listed above resonate?)

Now, if you do that and you decide you want assistance on next steps – email your answers to me at Nicole@bigdreamawakening.com

I’ll personally read your answers and set up a phone chat to review my findings and recommendations for next steps to help you bust through your block.

Whatever you do, keep believing. Stay in gratitude. Ask the right questions. Trust the Universe, the timing and the process.

Burnout Is No Joke!

Being a sensitive is such a blessing but without careful attention to your energy, it can feel like a curse.

If I have a very busy, cluttered week (like I’m having this week) and I don’t take time to mellow out and spend alone time resting, guaranteed I will pay a hefty price with my energy and clarity.

I start thinking about EVERY-thing I have to do (in my entire lifetime) and my head starts to spin. I see all the unfinished projects around me and it chokes my energy.

I am currently teetering on the edge of burnout right now which is probably why I’m writing on this topic. Because yes, it happens to me too, but I’ve learned to recognize the signs and take action – as in, no action.

That’s why I preach so much on self-care, I know the damage and recovery is harsh if you don’t make time to do it – notice I said make time to do it.

I get asked by other sensitives if I ever experience the things they do and how I handle it. Yes I do experience the same things. That is why I do what I do at Big Dream Awakening – so you don’t have to go as far down the rabbit hole of burnout as I have in the past.

I also get asked how I manage to “get it all done” or I’ll hear “boy, you’re a go-getter”. I do not say that to brag, because that’s completely not my nature. I share this with you to be absolutely transparent.

Because the truth is – I don’t get it ALL done. I have piles of laundry to be done, a house to clean, a workout missed here and there – just like anyone else. I get moody and want to stay in bed some days so I don’t have to go out peopling. Hello, I’m an empath!!

It’s not that I’m a “go-getter” driven by achievement. I just don’t know how to stop doing what I do to help more sensitives and I will not give up doing the things I love that bring me joy.

So I do what I can, when I can. I reset my expectations to “normal for an empath”. I feed my soul and sometimes I just stop…doing…and…let…myself…just….be.

I’ve learned to read my energy and even though I don’t always listen – I said I was going to be transparent here, I’ve learned that if I ignore (because I’m stubborn) my energy needs – I pay a price and am forced to slow…way…down…and…take…a…break.

And that is not always pretty. It may look like a day of not moving from the couch or a quiet day of talking to no one other than my dog. It’s not “fun” alone time at that point.

Recovery from burnout is uncomfortable because I love to be moving and doing. But it’s in those moments that I realize I way over-did, over-pushed and over-ignored my energy.

So when I hear a sensitive say they feel overwhelmed or too tired or a little crazy from it all…I really do get it, I understand because I have been there.

My reality looks like this. I work a full time job, run my business, work with clients, host a radio show and I’m writing a book. That does not include the everyday life tasks, trying to have a social life, stay in shape or spend time with my family. And throw in there that we’re in the midst of moving to a new home while living temporarily in a rental.

Again I’m sharing because the tools I teach – I use in my own life. I could not do all that I do without them. They work for me and they can work for you. One of the best tools I can share is awareness.

Be aware of your energy at all times.

When I give TLC to my energy, all flows pretty well and I can handle a lot, a lot. When I’m over-extended, I’m a freakin’ mess, my energy drains and my light goes dim.

This is something I see in my clients. They take on so much, with no “me-time”, that energetically they get wiped out. There’s no room for anything else but they push themselves thinking they should just keep going and do more. Wrong!

Even your cell phone will shut down and force you to plug it in for more juice. Your body will force you to unplug for more juice.

What is Empath burnout?

Well first, it is real. I’ve heard people say that burnout is not real, it’s a frame of mind. Obviously they’re not a sensitive. Nothing feels more real than burnout to an empath.

Burnout is not in your head. You can’t just ignore it and keep going. It’s your body’s way of giving you a message – You need to slow it down or I will shut it down. It will scream at you if you don’t listen.

The good news is it can be avoided and you can learn to recognize burnout signs early to bounce back quickly.

The definition of burnout is best described as physical or emotional exhaustion as a result of long-term stress. For an empath stress can come from a number of things that seem everyday-normal to other people.

Things like:

  • Attending a large social function or group event
  • A few hours of running errands through busy stores or the mall
  • Spending time around negative or crabby people
  • Experiencing a harsh discussion
  • Trying to meet multiple deadlines
  • Too many ‘people’ meetings
  • Going through someone else’s trauma or heartache

Signs of Empath Burnout

There are real signs and symptoms of empathic/emotional burnout.

Side note: Let me make it clear, this does not mean you are weak, crazy or lazy. Because those are the terrible things I hear empaths say about themselves, and I used to talk to myself that way too.

“Your inner chatter does matter.

If you are telling yourself you need to get it together or you’re blaming yourself, etc. just stop. Some organizing and energy management would be good but talking down to yourself will not help.

If you are experiencing or heading for burnout, you might feel:

  • Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion which spins into thoughts and feelings of shame, self-doubt, failure and can snowball into feeling like you’re in a crisis.
  • There’s too much at one time and you feel like you’re drowning emotionally.
  • You feel zapped of any motivation, wanting to withdraw from everyday life.
  • Heavy thoughts and feelings, you’re starting to question if you are depressed.
  • Like you cannot put a string of thoughts together, nothing seems to click and you’re finding it difficult to focus on one thing let alone everything you need to accomplish today.
  • You feel very heavy in your body, weighed down. Your steps feel heavy and take extra effort when walking.
  • You have physical pain like headaches, joint aches and pains.
  • You are extra jumpy or cranky, everything around you seems to set you off.
  • You just don’t give a crud about much even though it feels like everyone is coming at you from all sides asking what you think.
  • Your first thought when your alarm goes off is “already? I wish I could just sleep all day”
  • Everything feels like a huge project, even simple things like folding the laundry or getting the mail.
  • You can’t seem to make a decision to save your life, you’re completely over-stimulated with choices and feel paralyzed.
  • There’s nothing about being around people that appeals to you right now, you just wish you could shut the door to the world for awhile.

Here are a few more questions to help you determine if you are in or heading for burnout right now:

Do you feel completely overwhelmed? One thought snowballs into another, collecting everything you need to take care of with no end in sight and you feel crushed from the pressure?

Do you feel like you can’t get your thoughts straight? Even though you have projects to complete, nothing flows, your mind feels clunky and it almost hurts to think?

Does your body feel extra heavy? Like you’re dragging around invisible bricks and you feel heavy from head to toe?

Has your motivation left the building? You have no desire to do anything, not even the fun things you used to enjoy because it all feels like work?

Time For Energetic Hygiene

Just like you brush your teeth to avoid the buildup of plaque, you must do quick and efficient clearings of other energies to avoid buildup in your body, mind and emotions.

Here’s a quick list of energy tools to get you back to your centered, amazing, bright-shining sensitive self!

  • Stop moving. That’s right, veg out and rest your physical body. Your mind and your emotions will follow.
  • Close your eyes. This stops the visual stimulation and brings you right into your quiet space.
  • Sleep and then sleep some more. This will help reset your energy centers and naturally slow your systems down.
  • Eat for energy by color. Whole foods by color to balance your chakras. (avoid fast food, the chemicals will create more work for your body to detox)
  • Carve out alone time to do nothing.
  • Work your creative muscle – only if you feel inspired to do so.
  • Spend time in nature. Just be, no thinking allowed.
  • Watch a favorite, uplifting or inspiring movie.
  • Do something that makes you laugh.
  • Say no to things that don’t feel right for you. You will be so glad you did.
  • Just do what feels right for you in this moment. That may be nothing at all. Your energy knows best, trust what you feel.

And finally, schedule a Sensitivity Scan with me. We’ll address what’s going on with your energy, where the holes are that are draining you. I’ll make recommendations for your personal care plan to get you back to feeling good again.

When you tend to your energy on a regular basis – that being as close to every second you can – you will literally feel like you are born new again. Your outlook will be brighter, you’ll feel excited to take on the world and do all the things that felt so heavy during burnout.

You’ll rise up from burnout and start living again. You got this!