Busting Through Blocked

You know what you want but no matter what you do it seems like you come up short. It feels like you keep bumping into a wall that says STOP.

You feel blocked.

Is this resonating? You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt this way. I get it, I’ve been there too. It’s frustrating but hopefully after reading this you’ll feel better about where you are – and why you are where you are.

Before we even dive into the signs and symptoms I’m going to tell you something very important. And if you let this sink in, you will feel the pressure lift about whether you’re doing something wrong, if you’re blocked and so on.

Everything and I mean everything that is MEANT TO HAPPEN will happen. No doubt. The Universe doesn’t miss anything and it doesn’t get things wrong.

There is a higher plan for you and it includes everything that is meant to happen for you.

Now there are a couple of things that need to align for that to occur but just know that if something is meant to be for you, it will be and the Universe will figure what you need to get it done.

I know you might be thinking, “yeah but Nicole, I’m not seeing the things I want happen, only things I don’t want and it’s sooooo frustrating.”

And that’s part of where the confusion sets in.

You’re seeing that what you want is not happening and what you don’t want is happening and you think there is a problem. This leads you to question if you are blocked.

Try to understand that what is meant to happen is happening for you.

Ah. Did you get that shift? Did you feel it?

That means even you not getting what you want right now – is just right for you. (read that sentence again)

Everything happens in right timing. What I mean is “trust the Universe” and trust the timing.

We are very impatient people. We want what we want, when we want it – I flash to Veruca Salt as she demands for her golden goose “NOWWWWWW” in Willy Wonka.

When we don’t get what we want we pout. Yes I’m guilty too. And I’m really good at it.

And no, I don’t mean we break out into song and scream and stomp our feet like Miss Veruca.

But it may look like crying, feeling down, moping, having a heaviness in your step, not smiling, being cranky – looking and feeling like you’ve lost and there’s no coming back for you.

You create needless suffering for yourself when you do this and all because you’re not getting what you want – on your timeline. That pushes what you want away even more. There are universal laws that only deliver when there is a match of energy.

If you’re feeling down and doubty-pants you will not manifest whatever it is that you’re dreaming of. The energy is not a match.

Did Willy Wonka run up and give Veruca her golden goose while she was throwing a fit? Nooooo! In fact Mr. Wonka chose Charlie to have it all.

Charlie was a good kid, not demanding, not pouty. He was friendly, hopeful, happy and appreciative.

So in your quest to get what you want, who do you most feel you’ve been mirroring? Veruca or Charlie?

Ok, maybe Veruca is kind of a harsh comparison but she’s so memorable I love using her as an example. Charlie is such a great role model for manifesting. He was playful, curious and no matter what, he expressed gratitude for everything he received.

I think too many people get caught up in wondering if they’re blocked and this paralyzes them even more. They start to feel helpless, like something is wrong and they don’t know what it is. They get sad and angryish, resentful. Wrong vibe to get that joyful-whatever-it-is thing you want.

If you appreciate right where you are and how you’re feeling, you eliminate all of that. You dissolve those stuck, blocked feelings of “I must be doing something wrong or I would have what I want” and move toward the energetic space of getting it.

The Universe delivers dreams in layers of lessons learned.

Think about the last job you started. Did you know everything the moment you started? Did you learn everything after only being taught one time? Did you have moments of feeling stuck, having to ask questions, corrections to make from a mistake because you were new and just didn’t know what you didn’t know?

Did you give up? No, you kept working at it. One day at a time.

Until you started to get the hang of it, find your groove and advance your skills to the point where you could teach someone else your job if you had to.

That is life in a nutshell. But we set our expectations to instant. We want a drive-thru to order our dreams so we can have them right now.

Yes, I wish that were possible too. And it might feel like it is for some things.

You think “boy I could go for a carmel macchiato” and soon after someone surprises you with your fav from Starbucks. (hint if you’re ever in my area!)

But when it comes to the big stuff, the new car, the losing weight, the quitting your job to be your own boss, it seems like it takes forevvverrrrrr.

Keep working at it. One day at a time.

I’m going to tell you something you might not want to hear –

If you were ready to have what you want, you would already have it.

You would have learned all you need to know, be who you need to be and you would feel like it was effortless to get whatever it is you want. It would be the obvious next step for you, in fact there would be no doubt about it.

I can tell you if you don’t have what you want, you have doubt at some level and doubt creates resistance and resistance keeps your dreams at bay.

You doubt it’s possible, that you can have it, that you’re worth it, that you’re good enough, etc…there is some amount of doubt and getting to the source of that doubt will help you eliminate it.

Close your eyes and visualize having all you want right now, this very second. Every single detail, every piece and every part. All of it, just like that – instantly it is all yours.

Initially you think yay! Yes, bring it. But really think about that, all of it, right NOW.

Do you have every single detail mapped out? How would your life change? Are you who you need to be to have what you want?

Can you handle what you want right now? Are you ready? Do you know what you need? Do you know what you don’t know?

If you were really granted everything you want in this moment, would you be a bit overwhelmed? Are you as prepared as you need to be?

I have learned to accept that if I was ready, I would already have what I want, whatever it is.

Instead of wondering if you are blocked, focus on preparing so you can learn what you need to know. Thank the Universe for listening to your energy and not delivering every bit of what you want before you are ready.

It probably sounds strange to be grateful for not getting what you want. It’s not forever, it’s just until the shift happens and you are ready and you do get what you want. Then you get to be grateful for that too.

So if you’re not where you want to be, start asking yourself questions like- what else do I need to know? What am I already good at? How do I need to show up to get what I want? How prepared am I?

Your heart was born ready but your mind and wisdom are sometimes a few steps behind.

It’s comparable to having a baby. If a mother found out she’s pregnant and the next day she had a baby – whoa, can you say freak out! Thank goodness the process takes 9 months so the Mother can prepare her mind and emotions and get things in order for that big day when her precious bundle arrives.

So, this is your time to do the same until your big dream arrives. You’re in the incubation stage. That means you are right where you need to be – growing and learning.

Let’s dive into this thing called blocked and see what we can bust through.

First let’s talk about the term blocked. It gets used a lot, especially when someone finds they’re not getting what they really want, they assume they must be blocked and it builds into something bigger. Don’t do that to yourself.

Blocked simply means – not ready, there’s more you need to learn. There is something within you that equals – you have more growing to do.

My son just started a new job a few months ago and already they’re looking to him to lead his own team – someday. But he has things he needs to learn first. He’s new to the industry, has never worked in a sales position before and he still doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. They are teaching him – and he’s standing out because he naturally good with people and he’s eager to learn, he’s teachable.

He’s excited but he wants to be prepared. And rightfully so, why set him up to fail when he can grow into that position. How long that will take depends on how fast he learns, how well he performs and how positively he shows up every day. Guess what, he’s knocking it out of the park. (I’m beaming as I type this)

He sees that every day he is closer to what he wants, one day builds on the last. And even though not every day is perfect, he’s focused on the bigger picture. He celebrates every win, big or small.

And he believes that every hardship he’s been through has prepared him to win. It’s really been fun to watch, not just because he’s my son, but because he’s inspiring. He just keeps at it, hungry for more.

Signs you might be blocked (or as I like to say, have more to learn)

  • It feel like you keep experiencing the same issue or problem over and over again. If you watched the movie Groundhog Day, this feels like your life. It’s a new day but it’s the same old story, over and over. This could be with dating, money, jobs, friendships and so on.
  • You don’t have clarity about what you really want or it’s too vague. You might say I want to be my own boss and quit this job but you don’t know what you would do instead or you want to lose weight but you’re not sure what that really looks like and feels like, how many pounds, inches, etc.
  • You focus more on what you don’t want than what you do want. All you can think about is everything you don’t like or what is not going right taking your focus away from what you do want.
  • Everything feels bad. You have pain, feel heavy in your body, find yourself ill often or just don’t feel like yourself. All you can think about is how crummy you feel.
  • You think you’re missing something you need to get what you want. You tell yourself you don’t have enough time, money, energy, resources, etc. to make your dream happen.
  • You doubt yourself or feel you are not good enough to get what you want. You feel that the reason you don’t have it is because you must not deserve it or you haven’t earned getting what you want.
  • It seems like the Universe, God or whoever is in charge of dream delivery is against you. You question if they even know who you are or where you are, wondering if they just keep skipping over you and delivering to the next person because it sure feels that way.
  • You are full of pity and feel like a victim. It’s not your fault, everything and everyone in your life is just making it too hard for you to get what you want.
  • You feel like it’s just too hard, too complicated or too impossible for you and no one seems to understand.

All of these – and I could go on, are beliefs you’ve developed about why you don’t have what you want. All of them equal doubt – doubting yourself, the process, the Universe and so on.

Better beliefs equal better outcomes. I will quote my coach Jennifer Trask because she says it best – “You can’t outwork bad beliefs”. (read it again – it’s good stuff)

Do you need to know what your blocked about to get rid of it?

Yep. You bet. If I take my car into the shop because it’s not running right, they have to diagnose it in order to fix it. Same goes for you.

Now I don’t mean that you have to determine where you picked up the belief – example in third grade your teacher told you that you weren’t good enough, etc. You just have to identify the limiting belief and then correct it. (that’s where I can help)

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you discover what is holding you back from getting what you want:

  1. What the heck do you really want? (Be specific, full color, all the details you can spit out)
  2. What is stopping you from having what you want right now? (who, what, why, etc?)
  3. If you were granted your big dream, right now, all of it, how would your life change? Be specific. (think of your time and energy along with money, people, activities, etc.)
  4. What do you believe about getting what you want? (do any of the examples I listed above resonate?)

Now, if you do that and you decide you want assistance on next steps – email your answers to me at Nicole@bigdreamawakening.com

I’ll personally read your answers and set up a phone chat to review my findings and recommendations for next steps to help you bust through your block.

Whatever you do, keep believing. Stay in gratitude. Ask the right questions. Trust the Universe, the timing and the process.

Burnout Is No Joke!

Being a sensitive is such a blessing but without careful attention to your energy, it can feel like a curse.

If I have a very busy, cluttered week (like I’m having this week) and I don’t take time to mellow out and spend alone time resting, guaranteed I will pay a hefty price with my energy and clarity.

I start thinking about EVERY-thing I have to do (in my entire lifetime) and my head starts to spin. I see all the unfinished projects around me and it chokes my energy.

I am currently teetering on the edge of burnout right now which is probably why I’m writing on this topic. Because yes, it happens to me too, but I’ve learned to recognize the signs and take action – as in, no action.

That’s why I preach so much on self-care, I know the damage and recovery is harsh if you don’t make time to do it – notice I said make time to do it.

I get asked by other sensitives if I ever experience the things they do and how I handle it. Yes I do experience the same things. That is why I do what I do at Big Dream Awakening – so you don’t have to go as far down the rabbit hole of burnout as I have in the past.

I also get asked how I manage to “get it all done” or I’ll hear “boy, you’re a go-getter”. I do not say that to brag, because that’s completely not my nature. I share this with you to be absolutely transparent.

Because the truth is – I don’t get it ALL done. I have piles of laundry to be done, a house to clean, a workout missed here and there – just like anyone else. I get moody and want to stay in bed some days so I don’t have to go out peopling. Hello, I’m an empath!!

It’s not that I’m a “go-getter” driven by achievement. I just don’t know how to stop doing what I do to help more sensitives and I will not give up doing the things I love that bring me joy.

So I do what I can, when I can. I reset my expectations to “normal for an empath”. I feed my soul and sometimes I just stop…doing…and…let…myself…just….be.

I’ve learned to read my energy and even though I don’t always listen – I said I was going to be transparent here, I’ve learned that if I ignore (because I’m stubborn) my energy needs – I pay a price and am forced to slow…way…down…and…take…a…break.

And that is not always pretty. It may look like a day of not moving from the couch or a quiet day of talking to no one other than my dog. It’s not “fun” alone time at that point.

Recovery from burnout is uncomfortable because I love to be moving and doing. But it’s in those moments that I realize I way over-did, over-pushed and over-ignored my energy.

So when I hear a sensitive say they feel overwhelmed or too tired or a little crazy from it all…I really do get it, I understand because I have been there.

My reality looks like this. I work a full time job, run my business, work with clients, host a radio show and I’m writing a book. That does not include the everyday life tasks, trying to have a social life, stay in shape or spend time with my family. And throw in there that we’re in the midst of moving to a new home while living temporarily in a rental.

Again I’m sharing because the tools I teach – I use in my own life. I could not do all that I do without them. They work for me and they can work for you. One of the best tools I can share is awareness.

Be aware of your energy at all times.

When I give TLC to my energy, all flows pretty well and I can handle a lot, a lot. When I’m over-extended, I’m a freakin’ mess, my energy drains and my light goes dim.

This is something I see in my clients. They take on so much, with no “me-time”, that energetically they get wiped out. There’s no room for anything else but they push themselves thinking they should just keep going and do more. Wrong!

Even your cell phone will shut down and force you to plug it in for more juice. Your body will force you to unplug for more juice.

What is Empath burnout?

Well first, it is real. I’ve heard people say that burnout is not real, it’s a frame of mind. Obviously they’re not a sensitive. Nothing feels more real than burnout to an empath.

Burnout is not in your head. You can’t just ignore it and keep going. It’s your body’s way of giving you a message – You need to slow it down or I will shut it down. It will scream at you if you don’t listen.

The good news is it can be avoided and you can learn to recognize burnout signs early to bounce back quickly.

The definition of burnout is best described as physical or emotional exhaustion as a result of long-term stress. For an empath stress can come from a number of things that seem everyday-normal to other people.

Things like:

  • Attending a large social function or group event
  • A few hours of running errands through busy stores or the mall
  • Spending time around negative or crabby people
  • Experiencing a harsh discussion
  • Trying to meet multiple deadlines
  • Too many ‘people’ meetings
  • Going through someone else’s trauma or heartache

Signs of Empath Burnout

There are real signs and symptoms of empathic/emotional burnout.

Side note: Let me make it clear, this does not mean you are weak, crazy or lazy. Because those are the terrible things I hear empaths say about themselves, and I used to talk to myself that way too.

“Your inner chatter does matter.

If you are telling yourself you need to get it together or you’re blaming yourself, etc. just stop. Some organizing and energy management would be good but talking down to yourself will not help.

If you are experiencing or heading for burnout, you might feel:

  • Physical, mental and emotional exhaustion which spins into thoughts and feelings of shame, self-doubt, failure and can snowball into feeling like you’re in a crisis.
  • There’s too much at one time and you feel like you’re drowning emotionally.
  • You feel zapped of any motivation, wanting to withdraw from everyday life.
  • Heavy thoughts and feelings, you’re starting to question if you are depressed.
  • Like you cannot put a string of thoughts together, nothing seems to click and you’re finding it difficult to focus on one thing let alone everything you need to accomplish today.
  • You feel very heavy in your body, weighed down. Your steps feel heavy and take extra effort when walking.
  • You have physical pain like headaches, joint aches and pains.
  • You are extra jumpy or cranky, everything around you seems to set you off.
  • You just don’t give a crud about much even though it feels like everyone is coming at you from all sides asking what you think.
  • Your first thought when your alarm goes off is “already? I wish I could just sleep all day”
  • Everything feels like a huge project, even simple things like folding the laundry or getting the mail.
  • You can’t seem to make a decision to save your life, you’re completely over-stimulated with choices and feel paralyzed.
  • There’s nothing about being around people that appeals to you right now, you just wish you could shut the door to the world for awhile.

Here are a few more questions to help you determine if you are in or heading for burnout right now:

Do you feel completely overwhelmed? One thought snowballs into another, collecting everything you need to take care of with no end in sight and you feel crushed from the pressure?

Do you feel like you can’t get your thoughts straight? Even though you have projects to complete, nothing flows, your mind feels clunky and it almost hurts to think?

Does your body feel extra heavy? Like you’re dragging around invisible bricks and you feel heavy from head to toe?

Has your motivation left the building? You have no desire to do anything, not even the fun things you used to enjoy because it all feels like work?

Time For Energetic Hygiene

Just like you brush your teeth to avoid the buildup of plaque, you must do quick and efficient clearings of other energies to avoid buildup in your body, mind and emotions.

Here’s a quick list of energy tools to get you back to your centered, amazing, bright-shining sensitive self!

  • Stop moving. That’s right, veg out and rest your physical body. Your mind and your emotions will follow.
  • Close your eyes. This stops the visual stimulation and brings you right into your quiet space.
  • Sleep and then sleep some more. This will help reset your energy centers and naturally slow your systems down.
  • Eat for energy by color. Whole foods by color to balance your chakras. (avoid fast food, the chemicals will create more work for your body to detox)
  • Carve out alone time to do nothing.
  • Work your creative muscle – only if you feel inspired to do so.
  • Spend time in nature. Just be, no thinking allowed.
  • Watch a favorite, uplifting or inspiring movie.
  • Do something that makes you laugh.
  • Say no to things that don’t feel right for you. You will be so glad you did.
  • Just do what feels right for you in this moment. That may be nothing at all. Your energy knows best, trust what you feel.

And finally, schedule a Sensitivity Scan with me. We’ll address what’s going on with your energy, where the holes are that are draining you. I’ll make recommendations for your personal care plan to get you back to feeling good again.

When you tend to your energy on a regular basis – that being as close to every second you can – you will literally feel like you are born new again. Your outlook will be brighter, you’ll feel excited to take on the world and do all the things that felt so heavy during burnout.

You’ll rise up from burnout and start living again. You got this!

5 Reasons You’re Crying All The Time

Empowered SensitiveWould you rather listen? Click here

We all cry for different reasons. Crying is what makes us human. But there are times when the tears just won’t stop, when it feels like everything makes you want to cry.

I’m not talking about tears that well up during a movie, tv drama or when you see a cute baby animal kind of crying.

That’s just very every day for sensitives like us. (Also why I never go into a movie with any hint of romance, life drama or battle to overcome without a pocket full of Kleenex. That’s basic, sensitive 101 stuff.)

The kind of crying I’m talking about is when you want to run to the bathroom or hide under your desk because you cannot hold back the pressure behind your eyes. When you pray no one comes to talk to you at work because you’ve just been crying and your red face makes it obvious. And you feel raw and ready to burst into tears for what seems like “no apparent reason” all over again.

That’s the kind of crying I’m talking about.

I have been there. One thought of my sons and the floodgates would open. I would just start bawling. And I couldn’t make it stop.

Is this resonating? Here are several possible reasons it’s happening for you.

Reason #1: You’re living as an untrained empath

To the untrained empath life is summed up in one word – anxious.

You feel energetically out of control and bulldozed by your emotions more often than not. The only thing left to do is cry because it feels like everything is crashing down on you.

You feel jittery, moody, fatigued and socially anxious.

After a full day the only thing left to do is cry on your car ride home while you ask yourself “why is this happening to me?” or “why do I feel like this?”

Being “too sensitive” just feels like a curse and you wish it would go away. Everything seems to bother you and it feels like everyone around you is on your case. So you cry.

Tip: Working with an empath role model would do you well. Becoming a trained empath is a practice and learning from someone who has been there will help you master your gift. My program is designed to teach you how to navigate your emotions through the twists and turns in life so you can thrive and be happy.

Reason #2: You’re not clearing your energy

You just feel like yuck. As a Sensitive you take on everyone’s stuff, the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s easy for you, because you feel what other people feel.

The problem is when you do that and you ‘keep’ everyone’s emotional garbage vs. purging.

When you do this you clutter and muddy up your own energy.

This rollercoaster of emotions can leave you feeling unstable, shaky and scattered. And who can think straight when they feel scattered?

You’re left feeling overwhelmed, confused and maybe even a bit crazy. (But you’re not.)

You’re energy is just icked up.

Imagine a sink all backed up with nasty muck from the drain. That nasty, dirty water is everyone else’s ‘stuff’ and you cannot flow while it’s all swirling around in your own energy.

You need a good clearing.

Tip: Learn to use energy tools (like emotional drano) to clear your energy on a regular basis, as in, as much as needed. This means making self-care a priority and taking time to use the energy tools. A few quick suggestions – 5 minute meditations, journaling, staying hydrated, going for a brisk walk. Here are a few deeper suggestions.

Reason #3: You’re not grounded

When you’re not grounded, you’re as helpless as a leaf blowing around in the wind.

You can be thrown off balance very easily, vulnerable to your surroundings and environment. You feel everywhere but in your body. Your thoughts scatter about and you may even feel unsure, insecure or fearful.

Your mood might be easily influenced by what happens around you or the moods of other people.

This can be compounded when you feel run down, overworked or stretched too thin.

Trying to do too much at one time, ignoring your own energy needs or getting sucked into someone else’s mess can really cause you to lose your energetic footing. You’re more emotionally vulnerable and that can bring on the tears.

Tip: When you are well grounded, you are rooted and strong like a big tree. Sit in a chair with your eyes closed and your feet planted firmly on the floor. Lean back into your chair, and make note of the feeling of the chair under you and against your back. Take a deep breath. Wrap your arms around yourself across the front of your chest. Take several slow, deep breaths. Hold for 10-15 seconds or until you feel settled, calm and present.

Reason #4: You’re going through the dark night of the soul

This is a biggie.

Everything that once gave you security feels like it has fallen away. You feel vulnerable, exposed, unsure. You may even feel like you are in a depression. (but you are not)

You feel as if you are stuck in the dark with no hope of seeing the light again, like you’re totally alone during this process. All you want to do is weep during the dark moments.

It’s all a necessary part of your spiritual awakening.

You’re feeling old pain you have tried to suppress that is now bubbling up to the surface to be healed. We don’t even realize the heavy baggage we have held onto for so long.

For whatever reason, you are in a position to heal your pain, suffering, and feelings of separation from source right here, right now. The pain is the old story you are attached to. It’s falling away which creates a feeling of loss.

The tears help you release this pain and suffering and the old story. It’s grieving the old but this is also celebration for what lies ahead.

You can get through this process on your own but of course having support is more helpful, less confusing.

Tip: To get through this time your strength will come from finding new meaning and understanding about everything in your life and answering the question ‘who am I?’ and ‘what do I want now moving forward?’ This is the time to create a new story for your life. Face this time with gratitude for the possibilities coming your way. You don’t have to go this part of your journey alone. I’ve been through it, I understand and want you to know, you are not alone. Schedule a Sensitivity Scan so we can assess where you’re at on your path.

Reason #5: Not all tears are because you’re sad

I saved the best for last because this one really is a goodie.

You’re overwhelmed with wonderful, amazing, super-beautiful emotions and they’re making you gush like a waterfall.

Everywhere you look you see beauty. You see and feel life like a jet plane roaring by. It shakes the core of who you are and rumbles emotions that make you want to cry with love and compassion for a better world.

It’s as though your heart will explode and you could cry enough tears to fill an ocean.

You feel deeply connected and you’re ready to do your part to make a difference.

Yeah, this is a good one. If you’re in this place, it’s your time my sensitive friend. Your purpose is calling you.

Tip: Start to explore if you haven’t already, your passions and spiritual gifts. Whether you feel drawn to be a volunteer or an entrepreneur, a caregiver or a motivational speaker – your time is now.

So there you have 5 possible reasons you can’t stop crying.

All of them good. Yes I said good.

None of the reasons are permanent. You won’t be a crying mess forever. You can get to a better feeling place for sure. It just takes action on your part.

All of the reasons are perfect reasons to schedule a Sensitivity Scan with me. Let’s review where you’re at and get a plan together to help you put those tears in check.

Not ready for that just yet? Email me and let me know which reason resonated with you. I’ll be sure to respond to let you know, you are not the only one and you are definitely not alone.

Looking for more support? Join my Facebook Group for daily tips, resources, freebies and more! http://bit.ly/JoinBDASuperhero

“Don’t be so sensitive”

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been told that I’d be sitting on a big pile of money.

And it drives me crazy.

But early on I didn’t know what it really meant.

I thought it was all me, that I was ‘doing it again’. I was overreacting, or taking things too personally. Because those comments would follow and I believed them.

I would run myself through a grueling beat-up session..”what’s wrong with me”, “why do I let things bother me”, “I was just feeling fine a minute ago, now I feel like crap”.

And then I would own it. I would take claim of the fact that my feelings were invalid. I was convinced I was messed up and needed fixing.

On the lighter side I cry at everything, even really good things. Show me the Pantene tv commercial with NFL Dads doing their daughter’s hair  and it’s guaranteed as the smile hits my face the tears will well up in my eyes.

Because there’s meaning, I feel things while I’m watching. Not just ‘oh look, that is so cute’ like most people, I feel like I’m literally IN the commercial, feeling the love that Dad has for his daughter, the gentleness is like a switch that opens my tear ducts.

rio-1512644_1280It’s a nightly thing this past week with the Olympics. I’m glued to the tv because it’s like being there.

The amount of energy I feel while watching is almost overwhelming but I can’t resist. It’s an emotional rush as if I’m swimming the race myself.

When they show the Moms of the athletes, I can’t stop the streams of tears, feeling their pride and joy. I’m actually getting tears in my eyes as I type about it.

Add the stories of the athletes and their dreams, hard work and obstacles overcome to get where they are, I’m weepy. When I saw the video of Ryan Murphy making his childhood dream come true from the age of 8…I was a total pile of mush on the couch.

As my Fiance Erik likes to say…”here come the water works”. It’s almost on cue when we’re watching, he just knows right when to look at me to see if the tears are streaming.

And he’s usually on point. He’ll reach his hand over and touch mine with a smile because it’s just something he’s come to appreciate about me.

The reason my Fiance is so supportive is not only because he’s a great guy, but because I own my sensitivity in a very different way than I used to-not oh gee, I’m a mess, I’m just “too sensitive”. No, try…”I’m a sensitive soul and proud of it”.

I know what it really means now. I’ve done the research. I’ve looked for answers and I found them. I finally understand why I am this way. I’m not broken.

My sensitivity is my superpower. And it’s the same for you.

I know there are other sensitive souls walking this earth feeling like I used to, flawed.

Are you kidding me? If you feel that way, you are far from flawed. You are what could change everything in this world. If more people were like us, I don’t believe we would have so much conflict and negativity in the world. Sensitives would never stand for it.

Why is it so accepted that not feeling is the way to be? Why are we taught that we should not be feeling so deeply? We are looked down upon for being a deep feeling person. I find it completely backwards and rude.

Sensitive Souls are greatly misunderstood and hugely undervalued.

And feeling that way in society, our culture, in your own family or office is what causes so many sensitives to seem out of sorts, angry, anxious and depressed.

It makes you want to back down, shove the feelings away or stop feeling all together.

What if instead, you owned that you are gifted?

That’s right, gifted.

Only 15-20% of the population has the ability to feel and sense the way you do.

So does it surprise you that most people around you have no idea what it feels like to be you? 80-85% of the people in your life have no clue about being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Your brain as a highly sensitive person (HSP) actually works a little differently than others. In the scientific world, the trait is called “sensory-processing sensitivity” (SPS). Research has found HSP have an especially strong empathetic response to emotional cues from others and process information more thoroughly.

Biologists have also found the unique trait you have in over 100 species from birds, dogs, cats, horses, and primates and more. This trait is a survival strategy of ‘being observant before acting’.

Ok, so let’s review.

  • You can read emotional cues from other people without them having to tell you anything
  • You process information more thoroughly by observing before acting

Pretty clear how you can use those specialized, innate skills in business or personal settings. And the more you develop them, the stronger your superpower becomes, the more you shine.

And it will be my pleasure to continue to remind you what a gift you are. To tell you over and over that your ability to feel things the way you do is beautiful. It’s not a flaw, it’s what makes you special.

Not sure how to navigate your feelings?

I can help. I’ve learned things that can change how you experience life. And you don’t have to stop feeling to do it. You get to be yourself, 100%, a Sensitive Soul.

What would it feel like to have an owner’s manual for your emotions that gave you a totally different, feel good way of reading your emotions? Created more honor and respect in your life? Helped you get more of what you want? 

Because I’ve been there, living without the manual, guessing my way through. It was hard, complicated and messy. Then I learned what all my emotions really were trying to tell me, what emotions are for and what emotions were not mine, just other people’s stuff I was taking on.

Let’s connect for a Sensitivity Scan. I’ll help you uncross the wires so the signals are clear. You get to feel lighter and free. Sounds like a good plan yes?

What’s your dream life?

This is what a DREAM life would look like to me…

fashion-1284304_1280A positivity party where sensitive peeps who want to rock life on their own terms, have more fun just by being themselves!

Let’s face it, life gets craaazy sometimes and not always in a good way.

Emotions can run high, then low, up, down, up, down. You can feel all over the map about everything and nothing at all leaving you confused and feeling off.

It’s easy to get squashed in the shuffle, give-up on what you want and feel fuzzy about who you were meant to be. Total buzz kill.

I hear things like this from people every day…and I’ve been there, so I totally get it.

“I feel stuck.”
“I have a big dream but I have no idea how to make it happen.”
“I’m trying to get my life back on track.”
“I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”
“I just want to feel like myself again.”

It’s no joke. Because they mean it and they don’t know where to turn for help.

Call me silly, but I totally just love helping people live the happiest, most carefree, funnest life they can – by being true to themselves.

Let’s forget about humongo dreams for a second and focus on getting through the day with a real smile on your face, one like you really mean it.

Because maybe your dream isn’t to build a fortune 500 company, or be the next 10 time best-selling author or direct sales tycoon. (yet!)

Maybe you just want to get back to a positive feeling place to play and be silly.
Maybe you just want to feel free to be who you really are and find people that totally “get you”.
Maybe you just want to explore your creative side and actually have the time to do it. 
Maybe you just want to figure out how you were meant help more people like you.
Or maybe just you crave doing whatever the heck you feel like every day without everyone asking you ‘what’s wrong’.

That’s what I’m about: the real, the positive, the lighter side of what it takes to build the dream of you – living your happiest life. (isn’t that the ‘ultimate’ dream after all?)

I happen to specialize in personal intuition and positivity (kind of a cool combo!) If there were ever two tools you needed to navigate through life’s twists and turns, it’s intuition and positivity. I can help you…

Having “too much on your plate”, living “stressed out”, feeling “out of sorts” can make it almost impossible for you to see a decision in front of you with clarity. (And, hello, that’s no fun!)

Those are times when “extra” insight from a gifted intuitive can shine light to help you along your way. That’s what I live for!

If you…Feel fuzzy about the right next steps or crave a fresh perspective about a relationship or situation, I’m here for you.

Ready to kick-off this party, A.K.A your-best-life?

Now is the time to live lighter. Apply for your free Discovery Session and let’s get your-best-life started.

I can’t wait to celebrate your Big Dream Awakening with you!

Nicole xo

P.S. If you want to kick life up a notch in the mean time, grab my free report packed full of easy-breezy, free and fun things you can do right now to start living lighter!

Don’t Do What You Think You Should Do!

You heard me!

I said, don’t do what you think you should do. But wait, there’s more to that thought.

In today’s vLog we get down to the nitty-gritty on decision making and how to know what’s right for you.

There are so many options out there, how do you know what’s just right for you?

  • 1 in 5 Americans take some type of supplement, but they are getting duped and spend billions on vitamins that don’t even work-thinking cheap and easy is best (like at the grocery store) vs. investing in quality products
  • There are 30,500 fitness centers in the US and increasing every year – and with that, what exercise is best for you? Yoga, pilates, weight training, running, Crossfit?? So many options!
  • Medical information can be found on the net – WebMD, Dr. Oz, Dr. Mercola – where do you go for your research, who do you trust?
  • There are approximately 2,880,000 results for relationship coaches on the web – wow, how do you narrow down your search?
  • And where do we begin with financial advisors and wealth management options? No one has money to throw around to take the risk!
  • The global wellness market is now three times larger, a trillion dollar industry! Holy moly, that seems like a daunting list of inventory to choose from! Do you go with crystals, essential oils, bio-mat, diffusers, salt rock lamps….the list is endless! And everyone has a pitch why their product is best!
  • Not feeling your best? Should you go to a chiropractor, acupuncturist, energy healer, massage therapist? Or maybe you need Reiki, electromagnetic therapy or a nutritionist. Where do you begin?

I could go on but I think you get my point, hopefully I haven’t overwhelmed you.

There’s no doubt this is the coolest time to be alive in history. There are more products and services out there than ever before.

But how do you choose what product or service is best, what coach or advisor can help you achieve your goals…without getting overwhelmed by all the options???

Here’s what I can tell you…

Don’t do what you think you should do, do what feels right for you.

If it feels light, it’s most likely right for you.

There are definitely a lot of great products and services on the market, which means you have a lot of decisions to make and information to pour through.

The key is finding what feels just right for you, what you’re drawn to, what gets you excited.

Of course there’s an element of caution as there are products on the market that are not good for you, people who are providing services that are not as effective. You’ll still want to do your research and then decide.

Before choosing any product for myself for example, I do the research, ask around, read reviews, but I also go with my gut.

And let me tell you I have tried a ton of products! I’m always open to new services, connecting with other holistic experts. I’m a guinea pig of sorts!

People also share things with me and I do get asked for advice on wellness tips all the time, so I really have to stay up to speed on what’s safe and effective.

The great thing is, I have developed a large wellness tool box for myself and my family, but also for my clients. You can explore what I use and recommend here if you’re on the hunt for healthy additions to enhance your energy and wellbeing.

What if you pick the wrong thing or it’s not what you hoped it would be?

Big deal. At least you tried it and now you know it’s not for you. The best way to learn whether it’s right or not is to try it.

Sometimes we hold ourselves back for fear it won’t work or we’ll make the wrong choice. But that’s only going to guarantee you find no improvement at all.

Move forward and give it a shot. If you’re following your gut and all the research points to yes, chances are you’re on the right track.

I’ve started with coaches in the past I thought were a great fit and soon realized it wasn’t. Disappointing? Yes but I have learned to move along, find a new one and it’s not the end of the world!

The only way to find the things that increase your energy and make you feel more alive is to…try them.

Your wellness plan is very personal and what works for you and lights you up will be unique and different from anyone else’s plan. And if you feel like you don’t have a plan, now is the best time to get started.

If putting your plan together feels confusing, I invite you to apply for a Personal Intuition Reading. I’ll help you fine tune your intuition and determine if there are any blocks or distractions interfering with your signals so you can make decisions with ease. 

No matter what, don’t…

One thing I’ve found in my research and working with so many clients over the years, is that most people think change is hard. They actually resist change for a number of reasons.

One of them is that they think of change in terms of quitting or stopping something. And usually that feels hard to do, and they tend to feel bad about whatever they feel they should quit or stop.

If they want to lose weight they think they should stop eating fatty foods and sugar.
If they want to increase their abundance they think they need to stop spending.
If they want to make their big dream come true, they should stop doubting it can happen.
If they want to live a positive life, they need to quit complaining and thinking negative.

Now, I’m not saying any of this is untrue, but all of it has a negative energy that sets you up to feel like it’s hard, not easy to do, a real challenge. It also shuts your energy down and takes you out of the flow.

What I have also found is that when people look at adding positive things to their life, things they really enjoy, they can’t help but feel better. (that makes those things good for them)

And the best part is, they’re so motivated to do something they actually feel excited about, it happens almost effortlessly.

If you approach making change in your life with a focus on stop, quit or don’t – your mind negates the ‘don’t’ and your message gets muddled.

If I say to you “don’t think about a pink elephant”, in fact, no matter what you do, “don’t think of a pink elephant”….you see him already right? A big, pink elephant right there in the middle of your mind. And the more I tell you not to think of him, the more I say “don’t think of a pink elephant”, the more you see him!!

Let’s pretend for a moment that a pink elephant is the whatever you don’t want in your life. (nothing personal against pink elephants) and let’s say that what you really want is a green flamingo. (because that seems as impossible as our dreams sometimes feel)

And you want the green flamingo so much but all you could think about is getting rid of the pink elephant to get the green flamingo. (hang with me) And it seems the more you try to get rid of the pink elephant, the bigger he seems to get until he is taking up all the space in your mind. Yep, he grew so much that he consumed your mind. He’s getting harder not to think about.

You find yourself telling everyone about the pink elephant, complaining how big he was, how you can’t stop thinking of him and yet what you really wanted is a green flamingo, but then without realizing it, you go back to telling the story of the pink elephant who dominates your life keeping you from your dreamy, green flamingo!

Yes, I’m being silly here. But doesn’t it seem just as silly to focus on what we don’t want vs. what we do want? Yet that’s how most people approach making change in their life – and my friend, it just doesn’t work that way.

What it does do is make you feel powerless to the ‘pink elephant’. But you’re not. And, if what you really want is exciting and fun, why not focus there instead? Are you with me?

Instead of saying to yourself “don’t do _____________” (or “don’t think of a pink elephant”) start directing your thoughts to what you do want.

Start adding green flamingos everywhere you can in your day.

From the moment you wake up, focus on the green flamingo, talk about the green flamingo, put up pictures, write in your journal what it would be like to have your green flamingo, research where to find green flamingos, read books on them….just focus on the green flamingo! (are you seeing a green flamingo yet?)

Again a silly image maybe, but what you focus on expands? Focus on what you do want, then fill every corner of your life with it!

Here’s how that would look…

If you want to lose weight – add healthy snacks you enjoy and drinking more water.
If you want to increase your abundance, add ideas to earn more money.
If you want to make your big dream come true, add empowering beliefs.
If you want to live a positive life add positive people, activities and thoughts.

So, I goofed around and we had some fun with pink elephants and green flamingos, but here’s your real-deal positivity tip for today:

If you want to stay positive, focus on adding what you like and enjoy, that’s good for you.

You absolutely cannot go wrong if you approach your life this way.

If you keep at it consistently, pretty soon all the good will fill your life and squeeze out the not so good. (Yes, a green flamingo can squeeze out a pink elephant!!)

The best part is you get to enjoy yourself in the process. No suffering, no misery, no regret.

Positive change can be fun and easy!

So – what can you add to your day, that you like and enjoy, that is good for you?

Leave a comment below!

Match what you choose to your goals and dreams and you’re well on your way! (and I bet you get more than a green flamingo!)

“I wish I could stop feeling this way!”

Have you ever said that to yourself?

There’s no question there are times we feel things we don’t really want to feel. And it sucks.

If you can relate, you’d probably agree that all you really want is to get rid of the icky feelings so you can get back to ‘feeling like yourself’ as quickly as freakin’ possible!

So is there anything you can do to feel good fast? You betcha there is!

This week’s vLog walks you from feeling icky all the way back to woo hoo!

No matter how you’re feeling, step one to feeling better is acknowledging and honoring your feelings – right where you are, good, bad or ugly.

If you don’t, the icky feelings will linger and even throw a tantrum to get your attention.

Look, it’s easy to acknowledge when you’re feeling good. Because well, it feels good. We love when we feel good so it only makes sense.

But when you’re feeling off, icky, down or even awful, you want to ‘escape’ and get the heck out of there as fast as possible. So you might try to fight your feelings, get rid of them, stuff them or ignore them…just to make them stop.

The trouble is, that only makes the feelings stronger. They well up until you pay attention.

When you then say “ugh, I hate feeling this way, why do I feel this way, what is wrong with me?” you really irritate those feelings and they blow up in your face.

Well, I’m here to help you put a stop to that!

So, step one…honor how you’re feeling. Just admit it and let yourself off the hook.

There is nothing wrong with you. Check this….your emotions are working correctly! Yep, that’s right…I said they are working correctly.

You have an emotional scale…one end negative and one end positive. You will always be on that scale at one point along the scale.

And if you’re in the land of the not-so-good-feeling place, you can pivot and make a shift to turn you in the right direction.

Now for step two…ask yourself, “what can I do to feel a little bit better right now?” (notice I said a little bit better)

Your answer might be something as simple as go for a quick walk, pet your dog, look out the window at a bird, make a cup of hot tea, write a positive affirmation….whatever you come up with, it will be different depending on your mood and your emotion.

Example, if you’re feeling frustrated and stuck, you might need to get up and move so you decide to head for a brisk walk. If you’re feeling low energy, kind of sad, maybe a cup of hot tea while you sit with your dog might feel just right.

Miss ButtercupHere’s me snuggling with my Miss Buttercup. Always a happy place for me!

There’s no wrong answer if it’s good for you. The effects will be good for you.

And no need to put pressure on yourself to shift from crappy to top of the happy scale…just focus on feeling a little better. Then choose another thing and another thing you can do to keep you going.

You’ll create a shift within you and move yourself back to the positive.

Why does this matter???

Big dreams happen when you feel good.

And that’s the plan here right? To get your big dreams bubbling up and filling your life!

If you try this and just can’t seem to budge yourself enough…I invite you to apply for a Personal Intuition Reading right now. We’ll work step by step together and create a shift for you.

You’ll be feeling lighter in no time!

What if I don’t believe my affirmation when I say it?

The goal with affirmations is to feel the truth in the statement you are affirming.

You might be saying “that sounds good but what if I don’t believe what I’m saying because it isn’t true yet?”

I am lean and fit

Example – Let’s say the affirmation is “I am lean and fit” and yet you look in the mirror and don’t feel anywhere close to lean and fit.

How do you pull ‘truth’ into a statement if it feels like a lie in the moment?

Good question!!!

Affirmations are reminders of the beliefs and values you want to live your life from.

This is what makes them tricky for some people because I just gave you a statement that tells you it’s already true.

You may feel like the statement is a lie because it’s not true yet. If that’s how you feel, the energy you say the affirmation with comes from that ‘untrue’ place vs. a solid, expectant energy of something that has already occurred.

Here’s my solution to that!

You cannot look at an affirmation from a place of ‘what is’ or from your conscious mind. Affirmations are energized and activated from a place of ‘will be’ or from the gray matter in your mind, even though you’re saying a statement as if it already happened.

Let’s go over that again, it’s confusing!

When you say an affirmation it is in present tense even though it hasn’t ‘technically’ come true yet – but that does not make it untrue – because you’re adding the power of your belief.

Your conscious mind knows it’s not true yet but here’s where the magic happens….your subconscious does not! Cool right?!

Your subconscious mind does not know the difference between reality and what YOU create as reality. So it doesn’t matter that your conscious mind calls “bullcrap” on your affirmation! Say it anyway, from that magical place of belief and magic happens.

Your subconscious mind has a tight relationship with your body. You can think of your body as a reflection of your subconscious mind.

It’s telling your body the statement is true because it believes it’s true! So “I am lean and fit” to your body means, burn fat this is a lean body! Wowza right!!!

And the gray matter area of your mind, the place where thoughts and images, ideas and inspiration just ‘magically’ appear is totally connected to your energy body. So whatever you create from that affirmation activates in your energy body and starts to attract just what you need to see in your reality!

Holy moly that’s POWerful!!

I hope you’re getting a little more excited about using affirmations!

So here’s where you can add a turbo boost to your affirmations – you don’t have to believe the affirmation as present truth, but when you say the affirmation, say it as if it is guaranteed to come true.

Does that make sense?

Go ahead and say “I am lean and fit” not believing it….now say it like it’s a done deal and definitely happening…”I am lean and fit”.

See how the same statement feels different when you change your mindset? Can you see how the energy changes when you say an affirmation as if you just know it’s destined to come true vs. feeling like it’s a lie???

Around these parts, we say affirmations from a place of ‘KNOWING’ vs. hoping.

Here are a few more tips about affirmations:

1. Have fun when you say them! They should feel good and inspire you.

2. Use them like reps at the gym. You don’t have to stop at saying it once, you can say them throughout the entire day. Over and over and over, 10-15 reps at a time. Think of it as your mental boot camp!

3. Visualize the outcome you would like to experience as a result of the affirmation. When you say it, feel the words ring through you. Not just in your mind, let your body feel the meaning of the words and the outcome of the statement.

4. Include all of your senses in the affirmation. What will this reality look like? Taste like? Sound like? Smell like? Feel like? This is an easy way to get your feelings engaged with your affirmations. As you immerse yourself in your visualization, your feelings will bubble up to create the energy needed to bring about this new reality.

5. Imagine a natural image that compliments the statements you are making. Give your mind concrete examples that the outcome you want does exist. Visualize lean muscle, youthfulness, a trim waistline or maybe a feather…light as a feather, etc.

6. Smiling while you are saying affirmations brings fourth positive feelings almost immediately. You activate happy chemicals, all good for a healthy body. You will be amazed at what a great mood you will be in when you start smiling and how much more powerful your affirmations become.

7. Feel the power within. Before you say your affirmations, take a minute to press your hands almost to touching, place your hand over your heart or at the top of your head. If you bring your attention to where you place your hand, you’ll feel energy, pulsing or tingling, warmth. Remind yourself there is power within you and within your words. That power can change anything and create greatness.

Ok, hopefully that helps. You are literally going to be speaking your future outcome!

Are You Using This ‘Feel Good’ Tool?

Today we’re going to talk about an underutilized ‘feel good’ tool!

If you add it to your everyday, you’ll be amazed how good you can feel!

Most people wait for an occasion to use this tool, but you don’t have to! You can start using it right now!

Watch this video to get the real deal on CELEBRATION!

“Celebration is just good for the soul.”

And the best part is, you don’t have to wait for a reason to celebrate, you can make up a reason and have fun right now. And you don’t have to make it complicated! You can be as silly or ‘out there’ as you want about it!

  • You woke up early
  • You lost a pound
  • It’s a sunny day
  • Plan a get together and talk about the good things in your life
  • Your favorite color is yellow
  • It’s smile for no reason day
  • Your garden is blooming
  • Your house is clean
  • Surprise your kids with a ‘no reason needed’ party
  • Friends or family members

Life is too short not to feel good. And it’s too long when you don’t feel good. So start celebrating to up level your feel good vibes.

So what actually happens when you’re in celebration mode?

You’re present, feeling good. You share positive energy with others, laughing about the ‘good ole times’ and feeling upbeat about your future. You check out of the daily grind and lighten up.

This shifts your mind to a better place but it also shifts your biology to a healthier state. Your heart rate slows down, your body goes into a relaxed state and all is good. You actually slow down the aging process!

Think back to a great party you were invited to. What made it fun ‘for you’? Was it great people, the music or the food? Did you love the theme? Add those elements to your everyday and celebrate now.

To help you get in the party mood, I put something special together…and YOU are invited!

It’s called…

Positivity Party Radio!

Our first show launches Tuesday, August 16, 2016 on Transformation Talk Radio. Click here for more info, then save the page as a favorite.

13443205_1213853061980049_1579865764372552408_oMy first special guest will be Donna Haese. Join us to hear Donna’s journey and how her decision for a better life lead her all the way to fulfilling her dream of true love and being a highlighted Wisconsin artist.

Invite your friends to join the fun. More the merrier!

I’ll see you at the party!!!