You know what you want but no matter what you do it seems like you come up short. It feels like you keep bumping into a wall that says STOP.
You feel blocked.
Is this resonating? You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt this way. I get it, I’ve been there too. It’s frustrating but hopefully after reading this you’ll feel better about where you are – and why you are where you are.
Before we even dive into the signs and symptoms I’m going to tell you something very important. And if you let this sink in, you will feel the pressure lift about whether you’re doing something wrong, if you’re blocked and so on.
Everything and I mean everything that is MEANT TO HAPPEN will happen. No doubt. The Universe doesn’t miss anything and it doesn’t get things wrong.
There is a higher plan for you and it includes everything that is meant to happen for you.
Now there are a couple of things that need to align for that to occur but just know that if something is meant to be for you, it will be and the Universe will figure what you need to get it done.
I know you might be thinking, “yeah but Nicole, I’m not seeing the things I want happen, only things I don’t want and it’s sooooo frustrating.”
And that’s part of where the confusion sets in.
You’re seeing that what you want is not happening and what you don’t want is happening and you think there is a problem. This leads you to question if you are blocked.
Try to understand that what is meant to happen is happening for you.
Ah. Did you get that shift? Did you feel it?
That means even you not getting what you want right now – is just right for you. (read that sentence again)
Everything happens in right timing. What I mean is “trust the Universe” and trust the timing.
We are very impatient people. We want what we want, when we want it – I flash to Veruca Salt as she demands for her golden goose “NOWWWWWW” in Willy Wonka.
When we don’t get what we want we pout. Yes I’m guilty too. And I’m really good at it.
And no, I don’t mean we break out into song and scream and stomp our feet like Miss Veruca.
But it may look like crying, feeling down, moping, having a heaviness in your step, not smiling, being cranky – looking and feeling like you’ve lost and there’s no coming back for you.
You create needless suffering for yourself when you do this and all because you’re not getting what you want – on your timeline. That pushes what you want away even more. There are universal laws that only deliver when there is a match of energy.
If you’re feeling down and doubty-pants you will not manifest whatever it is that you’re dreaming of. The energy is not a match.
Did Willy Wonka run up and give Veruca her golden goose while she was throwing a fit? Nooooo! In fact Mr. Wonka chose Charlie to have it all.
Charlie was a good kid, not demanding, not pouty. He was friendly, hopeful, happy and appreciative.
So in your quest to get what you want, who do you most feel you’ve been mirroring? Veruca or Charlie?
Ok, maybe Veruca is kind of a harsh comparison but she’s so memorable I love using her as an example. Charlie is such a great role model for manifesting. He was playful, curious and no matter what, he expressed gratitude for everything he received.
I think too many people get caught up in wondering if they’re blocked and this paralyzes them even more. They start to feel helpless, like something is wrong and they don’t know what it is. They get sad and angryish, resentful. Wrong vibe to get that joyful-whatever-it-is thing you want.
If you appreciate right where you are and how you’re feeling, you eliminate all of that. You dissolve those stuck, blocked feelings of “I must be doing something wrong or I would have what I want” and move toward the energetic space of getting it.
The Universe delivers dreams in layers of lessons learned.
Think about the last job you started. Did you know everything the moment you started? Did you learn everything after only being taught one time? Did you have moments of feeling stuck, having to ask questions, corrections to make from a mistake because you were new and just didn’t know what you didn’t know?
Did you give up? No, you kept working at it. One day at a time.
Until you started to get the hang of it, find your groove and advance your skills to the point where you could teach someone else your job if you had to.
That is life in a nutshell. But we set our expectations to instant. We want a drive-thru to order our dreams so we can have them right now.
Yes, I wish that were possible too. And it might feel like it is for some things.
You think “boy I could go for a carmel macchiato” and soon after someone surprises you with your fav from Starbucks. (hint if you’re ever in my area!)
But when it comes to the big stuff, the new car, the losing weight, the quitting your job to be your own boss, it seems like it takes forevvverrrrrr.
Keep working at it. One day at a time.
I’m going to tell you something you might not want to hear –
If you were ready to have what you want, you would already have it.
You would have learned all you need to know, be who you need to be and you would feel like it was effortless to get whatever it is you want. It would be the obvious next step for you, in fact there would be no doubt about it.
I can tell you if you don’t have what you want, you have doubt at some level and doubt creates resistance and resistance keeps your dreams at bay.
You doubt it’s possible, that you can have it, that you’re worth it, that you’re good enough, etc…there is some amount of doubt and getting to the source of that doubt will help you eliminate it.
Close your eyes and visualize having all you want right now, this very second. Every single detail, every piece and every part. All of it, just like that – instantly it is all yours.
Initially you think yay! Yes, bring it. But really think about that, all of it, right NOW.
Do you have every single detail mapped out? How would your life change? Are you who you need to be to have what you want?
Can you handle what you want right now? Are you ready? Do you know what you need? Do you know what you don’t know?
If you were really granted everything you want in this moment, would you be a bit overwhelmed? Are you as prepared as you need to be?
I have learned to accept that if I was ready, I would already have what I want, whatever it is.
Instead of wondering if you are blocked, focus on preparing so you can learn what you need to know. Thank the Universe for listening to your energy and not delivering every bit of what you want before you are ready.
It probably sounds strange to be grateful for not getting what you want. It’s not forever, it’s just until the shift happens and you are ready and you do get what you want. Then you get to be grateful for that too.
So if you’re not where you want to be, start asking yourself questions like- what else do I need to know? What am I already good at? How do I need to show up to get what I want? How prepared am I?
Your heart was born ready but your mind and wisdom are sometimes a few steps behind.
It’s comparable to having a baby. If a mother found out she’s pregnant and the next day she had a baby – whoa, can you say freak out! Thank goodness the process takes 9 months so the Mother can prepare her mind and emotions and get things in order for that big day when her precious bundle arrives.
So, this is your time to do the same until your big dream arrives. You’re in the incubation stage. That means you are right where you need to be – growing and learning.
Let’s dive into this thing called blocked and see what we can bust through.
First let’s talk about the term blocked. It gets used a lot, especially when someone finds they’re not getting what they really want, they assume they must be blocked and it builds into something bigger. Don’t do that to yourself.
Blocked simply means – not ready, there’s more you need to learn. There is something within you that equals – you have more growing to do.
My son just started a new job a few months ago and already they’re looking to him to lead his own team – someday. But he has things he needs to learn first. He’s new to the industry, has never worked in a sales position before and he still doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. They are teaching him – and he’s standing out because he naturally good with people and he’s eager to learn, he’s teachable.
He’s excited but he wants to be prepared. And rightfully so, why set him up to fail when he can grow into that position. How long that will take depends on how fast he learns, how well he performs and how positively he shows up every day. Guess what, he’s knocking it out of the park. (I’m beaming as I type this)
He sees that every day he is closer to what he wants, one day builds on the last. And even though not every day is perfect, he’s focused on the bigger picture. He celebrates every win, big or small.
And he believes that every hardship he’s been through has prepared him to win. It’s really been fun to watch, not just because he’s my son, but because he’s inspiring. He just keeps at it, hungry for more.
Signs you might be blocked (or as I like to say, have more to learn)
- It feel like you keep experiencing the same issue or problem over and over again. If you watched the movie Groundhog Day, this feels like your life. It’s a new day but it’s the same old story, over and over. This could be with dating, money, jobs, friendships and so on.
- You don’t have clarity about what you really want or it’s too vague. You might say I want to be my own boss and quit this job but you don’t know what you would do instead or you want to lose weight but you’re not sure what that really looks like and feels like, how many pounds, inches, etc.
- You focus more on what you don’t want than what you do want. All you can think about is everything you don’t like or what is not going right taking your focus away from what you do want.
- Everything feels bad. You have pain, feel heavy in your body, find yourself ill often or just don’t feel like yourself. All you can think about is how crummy you feel.
- You think you’re missing something you need to get what you want. You tell yourself you don’t have enough time, money, energy, resources, etc. to make your dream happen.
- You doubt yourself or feel you are not good enough to get what you want. You feel that the reason you don’t have it is because you must not deserve it or you haven’t earned getting what you want.
- It seems like the Universe, God or whoever is in charge of dream delivery is against you. You question if they even know who you are or where you are, wondering if they just keep skipping over you and delivering to the next person because it sure feels that way.
- You are full of pity and feel like a victim. It’s not your fault, everything and everyone in your life is just making it too hard for you to get what you want.
- You feel like it’s just too hard, too complicated or too impossible for you and no one seems to understand.
All of these – and I could go on, are beliefs you’ve developed about why you don’t have what you want. All of them equal doubt – doubting yourself, the process, the Universe and so on.
Better beliefs equal better outcomes. I will quote my coach Jennifer Trask because she says it best – “You can’t outwork bad beliefs”. (read it again – it’s good stuff)
Do you need to know what your blocked about to get rid of it?
Yep. You bet. If I take my car into the shop because it’s not running right, they have to diagnose it in order to fix it. Same goes for you.
Now I don’t mean that you have to determine where you picked up the belief – example in third grade your teacher told you that you weren’t good enough, etc. You just have to identify the limiting belief and then correct it. (that’s where I can help)
Here are a few questions to ask yourself to help you discover what is holding you back from getting what you want:
- What the heck do you really want? (Be specific, full color, all the details you can spit out)
- What is stopping you from having what you want right now? (who, what, why, etc?)
- If you were granted your big dream, right now, all of it, how would your life change? Be specific. (think of your time and energy along with money, people, activities, etc.)
- What do you believe about getting what you want? (do any of the examples I listed above resonate?)
Now, if you do that and you decide you want assistance on next steps – email your answers to me at Nicole@bigdreamawakening.com
I’ll personally read your answers and set up a phone chat to review my findings and recommendations for next steps to help you bust through your block.
Whatever you do, keep believing. Stay in gratitude. Ask the right questions. Trust the Universe, the timing and the process.